clothing.

as much as i love clothes, and i love buying them. there are just certain parts of the day that i really don't like wearing them. for example, during the summer, at night, when i am getting ready, sleeping. this is the one thing i really miss about living by myself, i never had to worry about wearing clothes when i didn't have to. i could walk around wearing anything, or nothing.
i also really wish that my moms boyfriend didn't live with us, because if he didn't then i could walk around how i really wanted to. i can not wait until spring break comes, because my mom and little sister are going to fla, and once they leave, my moms boyfriend will go stay at his apartment(THANK GOD) and i get the house to myself. can we say, jacquelyn is never going to be wearing clothes!! ha.

What the actual fuck.

This is what my best friend wrote to her boyfriend on facebook : "thank you for always being that one sane thing in my life thats constant"

seriously?? i have been in her life since we were 10. good to know, i am not sane or constant in her life. fuck this. or am i overreacting?

oh what a surprise, 3:30am rolled around and guess who called me, john (the ex). like always. I didn't answer the phone, he then sent a text saying, "i need to talk". so i called him, and of course he was drunk, and he was babbling on about how pissed he was at his best friend, because they don't see eye to eye on life and how you should be living it. so yeah hour and half later, i got to go back to bed. and yet i am still up at 9. dumb.

Talking to Alicia last night, made me feel so much better about me being a horrible person. especially since we share the same view on love/relationships. it is so nice to have someone agree with you on something like that, no wait it is awesome!!! :)

bigger person.

i guess since i am 22 that i need to learn that being the bigger person is always the right thing to do. but in my head it just doesn't process that way, at least not right away. my little sister is 11 (12 on monday) and as much as she annoys me and makes me want to put her threw a wall, i just have to continue to tell myself that she is only 11. and that being 10 years apart in age difference is a huge gap, so she is going to get on my nerves. so today i decided that i am going to be a bigger person, and instead of being a bitch to her, i am going to take her out shopping for her birthday.

anyways. went to the strip club last night, for two of my friends 21st birthdays. it was by far the craziest and hysterical nights ever. and way to many vaginas, ha. but all in all, it was fun.

i also decided, that i am breaking up with my said "boyfriend". and that is all i am commenting on that. for me to go into explanation, would reveal the real reason why it was an open relationship, and that is something i care not to share. again make your own assumptions.

i got done work early today, and i don't have to work at the library tonight, so now i am home and completely bored. i think i am going to take a nap, actually i know i am going to take a nap. ugh so this morning i had to take my car to get the brakes/roter fixed. fucking 225$ later i am all good and not going to die. ugh fuck this saving money crap, i want to go shopping and buy cute new clothes. being an adult really does have its down fall.

so yeah about that nap. this was pointless.

life saver.

today was such a boring, uneventful day. except that i got to see the boy, when i didn't think i was going to be able to! that made my day. it also made my life since, while he was driving my car, he tells me that if i don't get my brakes changed in the next couple of days, that i will most likely die. ha. and while driving the half hour home after seeing him, i noticed what he was saying and the grinding noise got louder, so i skipped out on work for tonight, and called the auto place, going there in the morning and getting new brakes.

but now, since i am home and not at work, i am completely bored with myself. and don't know if i want to, get in the shower then sleep. or do something productive, or just go to sleep. i think i am going to go with the first one. ha. i am starving and want cup cakes. yeah. this post was irrelevant to anything and kind of pointless. oh well.

mannequin.

my Jack's Mannequin - The glass passenger vinyl came today. I am so unbelievably happy. it is amazing. Now to just get the rest of Jack's Mannequin vinyls.

I am pretty bummed today, my schedule and my "boyfriends" schedule are completely different from each others. we tried to see each other today, like three different times, but each time got cancelled because i was either still working, or he couldn't take his lunch, then i had to go somewhere. ugh, i get to see him tomorrow though, so that makes me happy.

i also just applied to two more jobs. i am fucking crazy, i know this. but i need money rolling in like a fish needs water to live. i also need sleep. i got none last night, due to a ex boyfriend calling me and talking my ear off. i also need to get off the computer and leave to go babysit. oh and i also get to start my day tomorrow at 5. WONDERFUL! someone kidnap me and make me take a vacation, thanks.

the only bad thing about talking to my ex is, that he always brings up things i never want to hear again. like being friends with certain people, making certain choices. oh well.

uhm i want to snuggle up and watch a movie with my "boyfriend". god damnit.

boots and boys.

Boots and boys (boots and boys). They bring me so much joy (bring me joy)
(I gotta say it) I wear 'em both so pretty as I walk in the city
(Watch out) Boots and Boys (give me boots and boys)

Yes so i have been rocking out to Ke$ha all day, completely obsessed with her album. Besides the monsoon rain, today was a very good day. I worked my favorite store 309. I got to spend the whole day with my "boyfriend" and all the crazy amazing guys that work at that store. I seriously laugh the whole time i am there. I also got asked out on a date for this weekend, and no it wasn't by my "boyfriend". And i am very excited to go on this date. It might be a little odd since my "boyfriend" and T work at the same store, but oh well. T is amazingly funny and is a major part of the reason why i laugh the whole time i am there. So this weekend will be awesome. And see kids this is the reason why i heart open relationships. i can have my cake and eat it too :)

i was so pissed that it rained today, especially since it was almost 60 out today. way to ruin a perfect weather day mother nature. oh i also need to paint my nails again, and dye my hair.

ex boyfriends.

need to learn what sleeping in means. my ex john called me at 830 this morning. not only was i sleeping, but i was hungover as fuck. i could of murdered him. then when i talked to him later once i woke up, he just laughs at me. i am so pissed at him though, he came up from Florida and spent thanksgiving at his gmoms house in jersey, which is two hours away from me and he didn't even tell me. what an ass. but anyways, we are planning a two weekish vacation. i am so stoked. he is going to come up here for a week, and then i am going to go back down to Florida with him and spend a week there. now hopefully i can get two weeks off for work or at least a week and some odd days.

i am so glad i am still good friends with my ex. everyone thinks it is odd and thinks that i should hate him for some reason. but we went out for almost two years and we use to live together and spent every single day together before i moved back home, so he was a huge part of my life, why would i want to just write him out of it. no thanks, i like having him as a friend. especially since we know each other like the back of our hands, we are always there for one another no matter what. it is nice, y'all should try it.

it is extremely annoying when someone says they are picking you up at a certain time, but then is late, but a good 20 minutes. either say you will be here around a certain time, or get here on time, i am impatient. just saying.

i have come to the realization that there are some things that i just like doing alone, or that i just started like doing alone. for example, shopping. i use to never go shopping alone, but now i love it and do it all the time. i find that i get a lot more accomplished when i shop by myself. other things i prefer to do by myself, running, driving, tanning. i guess i just really like me time. its always nice to be able to escape reality and go inside my head and day dream crazy wonderful things.

but it is also nice to spend time with the people i heart the most. tonight i am going to the wings (lacrosse) game with my best friend!! i haven't seen her since my birthday because i work all the time. and she goes back to school tomorrow which completely bums me out. then after the game, we are going to our friends house for his birthday. Tomorrow i am going over my friends bjs house to see her and my best friend johnny, and to meet their new addiction to their family, little luke!! i am so excited to see the baby. Then hopefully tomorrow night i will be able to see my friend mark. i am really trying to not be a stranger anymore. i need my social life back.

workaholic.

it is only thursday, and i already have worked 53 hours. how and why am i still awake or functioning i really have no clue. but being exhausted and constant running around will be worth it when that pay check comes. it is also a big plus that i really like my job and don't have to force myself to get up and go, i actually don't mind it. all this working just makes me even more happier when i remember why i am slamming myself with all these hours.. my own apartment!! it might just comes sooner then i have hoped. thank god.

ps. vampire dairies was amazing tonight.
the nuggets game isn't on until 10:30, and there is no way i can make it until then, so that is a big bummer.
and i get to see my sister and the kids tomorrow :)

one.

Tonight I'm sending you a message, this is the end of an era. The end of second chances, in the face of defeat I'm winning. Yet you still have so much left to say.

fact: i am in a open relationship. this is the first time i have been in one, and honestly it really isn't that bad. yet, it did just start so who knows how it will end or continue. but as of right this second i am very happy, and that is all that matters. i am not saying why it is a open relationship and not exsculsive, so go ahead and make up your own assumption. anyways the reason why i am starting off my blog like this, is because boys are a huge part of my life, and if i am dating someone then it most likely will come up here or there, and since it isn't a typical relationship here is the little background so y'all don't get confused later on.

anyway, today was a very good day. which is a big surprise since i started it at 5am. i worked from 6-2, and then saw the boy for two hours after work. i really have nothing else left to say, maybe i will later.

oh and yeah, i am not doing the whole introduction thing. this is me, so take it or leave it.

lyric from: adtr- i heard it's the softest thing ever.